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Post by spacedaisy on Apr 8, 2017 7:57:35 GMT
Session Files: 11704.08 - Lt Cmdr Elianna Kestran
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bea
Recruit
Posts: 1
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Post by bea on Apr 8, 2017 9:19:40 GMT
Standing nervously outside the doors, Elianna took a deep breath and rang the bell. Despite knowing she was expected, she waited until she heard a voice from inside call her in, then she stepped forward, the doors slid open and she stepped inside and took a look around. The room was very comfortable, but of course that was probably the intent. There was a large viewport with a stunning view. A spacious and comfortable couch, a small glass coffee table and another chair setting next to the couch at a bit of angle so the chair’s occupant could easily see anyone who might be sitting, or lying, on the couch. Elianna smiled at Eldrida, “Nice office, I think it’s the first time I’ve been in here since you took the post and redecorated. Much more cozy than our last Counselor’s decor. He preferred things very sterile. It always felt too cold to me.”
“I’m far too lazy and hedonistic for a sterile environment. I like things that feel nice and comfortable. Materials and fabrics that make me feel like I’m indulging in something. Things to touch and feel and look at that are worth touching and feeling and looking at. Honestly, the sick bay kinda puts me on edge a bit because of it’s sterility. I know it’s shocking for as much time as I spend there. I guess we can chalk that up to the quality of the company I find when I visit such an uncomfortable environment.” Eldrida chuckled. The two women hugged and then Elianna motioned to the couch, “I guess I’m supposed to sit there?”
“If you like, or if you prefer to sit on the chair, or even stand. Whatever makes you feel most comfortable,” Eldrida responded while handing Elianna a cup of her favorite Betazed tea. “I hope you like this tea. It’s my favorite one from home. There are so few people I can share my creature comforts from home with who truly appreciate them. I’m so very lucky to have been assigned this ship with you.”
Elianna settled down on the couch and then said, “I promised Oliver I’d set up a session with you, so I figured it would be best to do it before we get to the Starbase. Once we get there I’m sure I’ll be too busy with the evaluations and whatever else they have planned for us.” Truth be told, she knew they would have forced counseling as well, but she really wanted to deal with it first with the help of someone she knew and trusted. She didn’t have to explain this to Eldrida of course, being the only other Betazoid on the ship, she pretty much knew what Elianna was thinking before she said it. Even now she could sense deep grief within her friend and patient.
“I looked my family up,” Elianna looked down at the padd she had carried in with her, “I’m not sure if you knew about this or not,” she held the padd out to Eldrida. “Apparently during the Dominion War, Betazed was taken and controlled by the Dominion forces for some time. I thought you might like to know about it as well. Everyone in this time period just takes it all as facts of history, and they forget to tell us those details, you know? But it’s upsetting, reading about what happened to Betazed while we were…” she searched for the right word, what were they exactly? “While we were gone.”
“Anyway, my father and brother both died in the war it seems.” She stopped speaking, looking down at her hands while her thoughts wandered over what she might have missed with her family before they died. “So that’s three people now.” “Three people? Elianna I know our bond is deep due to our shared cultural history, but also I want to respect your privacy so I don’t go poking around. With you I work extra to make sure I take only the most surface readings unless you invite me in. Who was the first person?”
“Oh! I guess I just… that,” Elianna was surprised at herself that she hadn’t ever told Eldrida about him, “Ezron was my husband, he was killed in the war with the Dominion. Though not at Betazed, he served with Starfleet.”
“I am so very sorry for your loss. Elianna. I had no idea you were married. How long were you married? How did you meet? What did he do?”
The rapid fire questions amused Elianna despite everything she was feeling, and she smiled. “We met in San Francisco, I was there on leave from my first assignment and he was in his last year of the academy. And we were married for just over five years, but a great deal of it was spent apart because of our different assignments. He was a Navigations Officer He was very principled, and sometimes you wouldn’t even know his symbiont had been around for three lifetimes already because he could just seem so young and idealistic.”
“No wonder you are so protective of Corky. While they might not have held the same job, they sound very similar in personality.”
With a tilt of her head Elianna chuckled a bit, “I hadn’t really considered but now that you mention it, they do share a few characteristics.”
“They both seemed to be very dedicated to their jobs. They both seemed to care for you a great deal.”
“I suppose so, though Cam doesn’t know me that well yet. I suspect he is the kind of person I could become good friends with, given enough time.”
“Personally, I think a person needs exactly 15 seconds to know that they should be friends with you. I am happy you are a bit more discerning than the rest of us.”
“We can gossip forever or we can talk. I think we should talk. And I’m sorry if it turns painful. I hope you understand, want you to be open with me before you are forced to try to say anything to them. Patient/client confidentiality. I do, I think, have some say as ship’s counselor.”
Drawing a deep breath, she nodded, “I do understand, I’m ready and I trust you. So… what now?”
“We are Betazed. Tell me about your mother. We women are all just princesses trying to please our queen.”
“My mother, like all Betazoid mothers is a force to be reckoned with, but our relationship has been less than smooth. I always felt closer to my father, which is not all that normal, and I think my mother resented it. She was just gone a lot, doing the diplomatic gig. Father was there, in a stable position teaching at the Academy. I contacted her earlier, and I get the feeling she blames me for their deaths. Not that it makes any sense, but I suppose grief rarely does.”
“Yea. Mom’s are rough. I know. I have one too. She is a force as well. I am slightly jealous that you had your dad around. I remember so much of my life being a voice of what my mom expected me to be and servants that I personally loved, but no one else did. And no. Grief never makes sense. I don’t think she blames you for their deaths. I really don’t. That’s the story she’s telling herself. She blames you for not being there to grieve with her. That is her true hurt. And you can help her with it. Carefully and tenderly. Or you can leave it alone. I can see both paths as ok paths.”
Elianna considered this for a few moments and then said, “I’m not sure I’m ready to take on her grief right now. I can barely wrap my head around my own. Does that make me a bad daughter?”
Reaches out and touches Elianna’s hand. “Of course not. You can only deal with what you can deal with. You can’t help your mom till you are able to deal with your own grief. No one, besides your mother, expects anything different. You are an amazing daughter in that you care enough to still care about her grief while you are trying to process your own. You win the Betazoid world cup. Now quit trying to take care of everyone else and GRIEVE.
CRY.
HURT.
You have lost so much.”
Elianna dropped her gaze again to her lap and felt her eyes brim with tears, the words stung. It was the truth they held. Silence hung momentarily in the room as Eldrida allowed Elianna to process her feelings and really allow herself to hurt.
“Tell me about Ezron. Tell me all the things that made you fall in love with him. Tell me the stories about how he even won over your mother. I can feel them bubbling, just under the surface. I know it’s hard. I know how much you miss him. I can feel it.”
She wiped the tears from her cheek and laughed, “He made me fall in love with him. He wasn’t my type. So serious most of the time. But he was persistent. Once he made his mind up about something there was no talking him out of it. We met in this little bar, I went to see this jazz artist who was playing there. He tried to get me to go out with him the next night, but I said no. And he kept asking me out for the next five days until I finally broke down and said yes. And I’ve never regretted it since. As far as my mother, he never won her over. He wasn’t nearly good enough for me in her opinion. But no one ever was. He didn’t let it stop him from proposing though,” she smiled fondly at the memories.
Eldrida stands and walks over to the bookcase that has a closed door pannel on it. She reaches around her neck and pulls out a key. With her back to Elianna, she puts the key in the secret spot and unlocks a door. She pulls a bottle out of the cabinet and locks it back up. Tucking the key under her shirt. Before she turns around she says “Elianna, you are my best friend on this ship. You are the person I trust the most. Please never tell anyone I have this here. But you miss home. You need to go home. And I miss home too. So tonight we will do what women did on Earth centuries before us. I know it sounds crude, but it’s effective.” Eldrida turns around and produces one bottle of Betazed wine. “It’s not synthahol” she says matter of factly as she pours two glasses. She hands over a glass to Elianna. “What was it about you he couldn’t be talked out of?”
Eldrida raises her glass and looks at Elianna. “And once the wine is gone, we have ice cream and chocolate we can work through”
Lifting her glass to Eldrida’s, Elianna takes a sip of the wine, savoring the flavor before replying, “I think that sounds like an excellent plan.”
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