Guest starring Shawna as Raqiin
Stardate 11802.15Sickbay was not a happy place. It rarely was, given the nature of the area, but there was a distinct air of desperation lingering, like it was clinging to the walls. It was probably just Raqiin's imagination, though depending on who all was in sickbay, her empathy could pick up on the mood. With the pheromones worked out of the system, everyone should be back to being normal--if a little headachey.
"Lieutenant." She spoke softly, getting Penelope's attention. She didn't want her own emotions interfering, but that had always been difficult for her. "I need a word with you about Ensign Tallush's condition."
Penny looked up at Raq and her anxiety could surely be clearly seen on her face. Anxiety and stress. This had been a day she wished she could forget. She didn't say anything though, instead she simply motioned to her office and led the way inside. Only giving a brief look toward the surgical bay as she left the main sickbay. Once in the office she turned to face Raq and tried to ignore the knots in her stomach. This was her fault, she should have been aware they were behind on the shots. She knew all this and it was eating at her. But she hadn't brought herself to the point of really vocalizing that yet. So she took a deep breath and asked instead, "What would you like to know?"
There weren't going to be many people left unscathed by this, were there? Raqiin dreaded the fact that every night she went to bed thinking that Sara could have handled this better. Maybe angrily, maybe with more snappy remarks and cursing and yelling, but surely better. Maybe this wouldn't have happened under Sara's watch. But it happened, and she has to deal with it. "About her regiment. How often she's to be treated." It was hard to try and stay stoic, especially when her stalks advertised everything she was feeling even if her face gave little away. "How we let it get this far."
There it was. The question she knew was coming. The question she had been asking herself. Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear nervously, she tried to answer that dreaded question.
"The usual prescription is weekly injections. However, we are in a bit of a bind. Our supply is running very low and we can't just replicate more. Truthfully, we won't be able to secure more until we get back to the Alpha Quadrant. So we were already pushing the limit of how long we could safely wait as far as we could to make our supply last."
Penny leaned back against the edge of her desk, looking very defeated and weary. Then she squared her shoulders resolutely and turned her gaze directly back to Raq, "We should have been fine though. The real problem was oversight on my part. Dr. Rand and I have been sharing responsibility for Ensign Tallush's treatment. I believed he had taken care of it this time, he believed I had taken care of it. Clearly we were both wrong. It's my fault, I should have confirmed it was done, but I didn't. And now..." she finally dropped her gaze to the floor, unable to say the words she was thinking. It was what she feared she would do someday. Get someone killed because of her lack of experience. Now it was a reality. And it hadn't taken very long.
Without looking up she said in a voice that was both quiet and contrite, "I accept responsibility for what happened here."
It wasn't the best news. But...it was more detail than she had had before. It helped, even just the slightest bit. "There's going to be some form of investigation. More official than just me asking questions." A trial of some kind. Court martial. Maybe worse. It couldn't be determined at this point.
"Before we go assigning any blame on anyone--tell me more about the low supply. We've been out here in the middle of nowhere for longer than anyone planned. If it's not something that can be replicated, and if it's something we're having to space out farther...that could help."
As she looked once again at Raqiin, she thought for a brief moment she could see her own anxiety and emotions reflected back on the acting CO's face. She hadn't before considered how hard it must be to be in her position right now. She held up a finger and said, "Just a minute," before leaving the office. When she returned she set a plain gray case on the desk and released the latch. She spun the case around and inside were twelve spots for vials, though there was now only one vial in there.
"We had three left yesterday, but one got broken when we dropped out of slipstream. We used one on her today and now this is what we have left. One treatment."
She closed and latched the case once again as she went on, "Usually the individual is given their treatments directly, it's not standard issue for a ship to keep more than maybe one or two doses on hand unless they have an Orion female assigned to them. Replicated versions of it have proven ineffective in trials. We were stretching it by going twelve to fourteen days because Starfleet inoculates their people, so it shouldn't have an effect quite as quickly. But as you can see, we have a problem."
"So this would have happened at some point anyway, most likely. Because of us being stuck where we are, how we are." Raqiin's brows knit in thought. It was a plus for them, even if the circumstances would have been different. They might have been able to prepare... "And if we're out here another month, it's likely to happen again?"
"A month at maximum, it might be slightly less. But I am working on an alternative. I haven't had an opportunity to discuss it properly with Migonna yet, she hasn't quite been in the right frame of mind and I need her to be in order to make a sound decision about this. Though I'm not sure there will be much of a decision to make here. And I would say that I don't know if we would have been in this position or not. We probably would have explored an option like I am exploring now before we got to this point if her injection had not been missed."
Penny knew Raqiin was trying to help her, Tallush, and all of them. But she couldn't lie about it either. This was preventable. The truth was, if they hadn't missed the injection, it would have simply delayed her making a decision about the option of an implant a little while. They quite possibly could have gone through with it and no negative results would have occurred. Or not. Could have, should have, would have. There was no way of knowing for certain at this point. The only thing she could say for certain was that the injection wasn't administered and it resulted in the death of a member of the Bradfield crew.
"I'll need to talk to her...eventually." Not right now. Not when it was all still fresh. But she wouldn't hold it off forever. "I can't imagine she's in a good place right now, and now she'll have to find out that she'll be put on trial."
Raqiin shook her head a little, trying to get it all settled in her mind. She'd find out all the details when a proper investigation was conducted, so as much as this was for her to know, as the acting captain, it was also for Evans. Her shoulders sank, letting out a long breath. "I'm sorry this is happening so soon after a promotion. For what it's worth, I don't think it was the wrong decision. But there might be backlash for this. It sounds like it slipped through the cracks, plain and simple. And as plain and simple as it is, it doesn't change the outcome. I'm likely going to confine her to quarters, though of course she can be here for whatever alternatives you decide on. What are you thinking, with this alternative?"
She didn't feel like Raqiin needed to apologize to her, and yet it was somehow reassuring at the same time. She offered her a grateful smile but there was a lingering weariness in her eyes as she said, "I understand Captain, and I already know what is likely to happen here."
Penny's eyes wandered over to where Migonna was still held behind a forcefield in the surgical bay. The pheromones had pretty much cleared up, but after what she had seen with Lt. Davaru the doctor felt like it was best for her own safety. "I think having her confined somewhere less public would probably be best for her safety and emotional health. I'm by no means a Counselor, so it would probably be good if a session was arranged for her with someone more qualified."
What she didn't say was that she didn't have the patience for it. Penny was nurturing enough for someone in her profession, but she didn't have a lot of desire to deal with the emotional needs of everyone around her. Maybe it made sense, she had enough to worry about what with caring for their physical treatment. The idea of being the one to emotionally hold their hand while they work out their problems was exhausting to her. And Migonna's current state was frustrating to Penny when she needed to make some important medical decisions.
"I believe a small device can be implanted to regulate the production of pheromones. It would eliminate the need for weekly injections. Either that or we would have to surgically remove the glands all together. This would be more invasive, more difficult and riskier for her, so I prefer the first option despite the fact it's a little more experimental."
Raqiin suspected the counselor was going to be pretty booked once everyone had two seconds to breathe. But she wasn't about to ask Sara to use her experience to talk to her. Not in this highly emotional situation. "I'll leave the medical recommendations to you. There are a few others who could use a talk--but I won't order it. It might be that over the course of the investigation, a proper psych eval might have to be done." Future problems. Future problems for being in friendlier space, not for now.
As for the alternative? "The decisions are, of course, between you and her. Personally, I don't know how much I like the sound of 'experimental' when we're still stuck here, but...I'm hoping it won't be for that much longer. How's the rest of the medical staff taking this?"
"Don't be too frightened of the idea of experimental, it's been done for other organs with no negative impact. This would just be a different application is all. As far as how the staff is doing..." She waved a hand towards the biobed where Dr. Rand had yet to wake up from being sedated earlier, "He doesn't mind anything at the moment, Madeleine has been a big help especially giving some gentle care to Migonna, and Sunday..." here she paused and gave a slight sigh, "I gave him some time off, since Zayne was a member of his previous crew. Overall we're fine, but thank you for asking."
Studying Raqiin for a moment she asked, "How are you doing with everything?" Part of her regretted asking almost immediately, like perhaps she had overstepped. But a bigger part felt like the other woman seemed to be under a great deal of stress and Penny couldn’t help but feel responsible.
It was hard to keep up the pretense. There was a balance she hadn't yet figured out between being captain and being one of the crew. She filed away the information, knowing she wasn't going to influence the decision either way. She didn't want to. It wasn't her business. Except to know that this wouldn't happen again.
"Well." Raqiin quirked her lips in a sardonic little smile. "I should've taken advantage of the boring time the Void was, that's for sure." Maybe once they were home, they could all have shore leave. But that required them to figure out the situation with the Cardassians and the Vaadwaur. And the Federation was short on ships as it was. But still, they'd have to at least stop, get some proper repairs instead of on the fly fixes, especially to the QSD, and take on much needed supplies. For the future, then.
Penny let a small chuckle slip out at this statement. It had been such an intensely stressful twenty four hours that a little joke felt like a great relief. Even just for that second while she wasn't thinking about everything that happened and the uncertainty of what was the come. But it couldn't last forever; she took a deep breath and said, "Well, I should get back to getting things together for what I'm hoping to do for Ensign Tallush. Is there anything else I can help you with?"
"No, I think...that's all I need for now." Raqiin turned to leave, paused, and turned back around. "I just want you to know that whatever happens, I have your back. And I have her back. I have the back of all of my crewmembers, and that's not going to change. I don't know how this is going to shake out, but I'm here for you." She allowed a smile, genuine, small but confident, and at last left.
Penny’s eyes lingered thoughtfully on the door Raqiin had just passed through. She couldn’t help but wonder how much even the acting Captain could do to protect them. Or if she felt like she even deserved it after this mess. With a small shake of her head as if to clear the cobwebs, she sat down in her chair and turned on her console to write up the report on how this happened for Captain Sumner as she had requested.