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Post by Nola on Sept 29, 2017 9:51:27 GMT
Part 5
Henry was taking a moment to process the scene before him: a quaint, modern one-story house with a manicured lawn on the outskirts of San Francisco, a placid and sterile white plastic box that, at one time, might have sent him into a fit of manic societial excoriation. This was where his sister, the anarchic Sara Sumner, now lived, albeit temporarily.
It was fucking with him a bit. Some vestigial remnant of his apoplectic heyday felt a twinge of disgust, but the rest of him was simply amused. Life had taken the Sumner kids to funny places.
He rang the chime and took a deep breath. There was no immediate answer, and it was entirely possible that nobody was home - he hadn't exactly called ahead. In truth, part of him was relieved-
"I'm comin'!" called her familiar voice, one that resonated in his chest like a power chord with just enough reverb.
"Just a sec-" A small crash emanated from just beyond the door.
"Owwww, shhhh- darn it!" he heard, eliciting a hearty snort. The door slid open, revealing a hobbled Sara rubbing her shin. She didn't see him right away.
"Sorry," she said. "Got tackled by a- ohmygodholyshit!"
The rest of her greeting was lost amidst an actual squeal of delight as Sara launched herself at her brother, who had been about to say something cheesy. He had to react quickly to keep from being toppled, and then threw his arms around her and squeezed her tight. Her continued expressions of joy were muffled by his shoulder as he wore a grin so wide it threatened to tear something. It had been far too long.
She let go just as it seemed she might crack one of his vertebrae, taking a step back to regard her long-lost sibling. Tears of joy rimmed her eyes, and he felt a similar mistiness as the anxiety of showing up unannounced melted into sheer elation.
"Hey," he managed.
"Hello!" laughed Sara. They shared another warm hug.
"Come in," she invited. Henry grinned as he stepped inside. Just past the small foyer was a living room littered with a variety of toys, including a toppled tricycle.
"I'd apologize for the mess, but, uh," she offered, before gesturing vaguely at him. He chuckled, pleased to see she was still a smartass.
"Hey, you should see my place," he countered. "There's an actual path to the door and everything. You'd be proud."
"Impressive, truly," snarked Sara. He gave her a smirk, and then they fell into a moment of silence. The stared at each other, a fresh round of tears in their eyes, and embraced once more. He heard a quiet sob, which was enough to get him started as well, and the siblings had themselves a brief but cathartic cry.
"I missed you," whispered Sara. "I missed you so much."
"I know," he mumbled, a deep shame filling his chest. "I'm sorry."
"No, don't be sorry," she reassured, looking up at him as she ran a hand through his slight shag. "You did what you needed to."
"I missed your wedding," he lamented, his voice cracking as he expressed the source of his immense guilt. Sara shook her head, smiling despite the tears streaking her face.
"Bullshit. I had you with me every step down the aisle," she told him. Her voice had changed from a choked whisper to a firm, confident timbre, a sound he'd always associated with unimpeachable truth. He didn't have it in him to dispute her, instead resting his forehead against hers before giving it a small kiss.
"How long are you here?" Sara asked, wiping her eyes on her sleeve.
"Until tomorrow afternoon," Henry sighed.
"So you can stay for dinner?" Sara hinted. He grinned and nodded.
"Long as I don't have to make it," he joked.
"Like I would ever let you cook for my family," she snickered.
'Family' rang in his ears for a bit. It was still a jarring concept for him - aside form Sara, he'd never really felt any strong familial connection, at least not that he could remember.
Movement caught his attention, and his eyes snapped to a door just past the kitchen. A pair of suspicious eyes were upon him, narrowed in calculation, and set beneath a gray forehead with noticeable ridges. Henry froze for a moment, a curious pit forming in his stomach at the sight. His sister's child. His niece.
Henry smiled a little and waved. Sara looked over her shoulder and grinned before motioning for him to follow.
"Come here, Ula," she bade. "There's someone I want you to meet."
The girl's eyes remained lock on Henry, but she carefully stepped out from behind the wall, huddling next to a crouched Sara.
"This is Henry," Sara said, beaming at him as she hugged Ulani close. "He's my brother."
Ulani's expression relaxed a bit, though a small frown remained.
"That makes him your uncle," Sara added. Ulani looked between the two of them for a moment before stepping out of Sara's grasp and toward Henry. A small wave of panic rushed through him, unsure whether he should pick her up, or shake her hand, or just sit there and grin stupidly like he was doing now.
"You look like mommy," Ulani announced. "You have the same eyebrows."
Sara grinned and Henry chuckled, both amused by the observation and a little intimidated that a five-year-old would recognize that. Sara had made mention in one of her letter about how terrifyingly smart Cardassian children were.
"Well, I'm older, so technically she looks like me," he corrected. Sara gave him a rude gesture behind Ulani's back.
"I like mommy more, so you look like her," Ulani countered decisively. Henry and Sara both chuckled, and Henry crouched down to Ulani's height, putting out a hand.
"Nice to meet you, Ulani," he said. Ulani looked at his hand and then back at Sara, who smiled warmly and gave her a nod.
"He's alright," she said. Ulani turned back to him and lunged at him, wrapping her little arms around him, not all that dissimilar from how Sara had earlier. He hugged his niece close and grinned at Sara, his eyes glistening as he felt more than a little overwhelmed by all this. Sara and her family, and, by extension, his family. This would take some getting used to.
---
"What!? No! NOOOOO!!!" protested Henry, poking furiously at a slew of holographic shapes. Ulani sat beside him, laughing evilly as her puzzle block rapidly dwindled, leaving her uncle scrambling to keep up.
"No fair!" he shouted. "I underestimated you because you're a child!"
"You whine like mommy," Ulani snickered, victory clearly in hand.
"I'm older - she whines like me!" he insisted.
"Whine whine whine," she taunted. She paused a moment, giving him a disconcerting and all-too-familiar smirk before tapping seemingly at random. She was toying with him, now.
"Oh, you little..." he mumbled, though he couldn't help but smile. He'd only known his niece a few hours, and already he was proud of her.
She let him get close, or so it seemed. He saw it just before she sprung the trap, though. She tapped one of the pieces with a victorious giggle, setting off a cascade of matches that obliterated the rest of the puzzle. Henry gave a groan of defeat, falling to his back and eyeing his smirking, upside-down sister.
"You're raising a monster," he accused.
"Know my pain," she reveled.
"I win, I win!" Ulani sang, hopping up and down. She spring-boarded off his stomach without warning, drawing a surprised 'oof!' from Henry, who curled into a fetal position as Ulani ran off.
"Why!?" he called after her. If she answered, he wasn't able to hear it over Sara's cackling.
---
"Booze," Sara announced, holding out a glass of scotch. They had moved to the back yard - Thalev was tucking Ulani in, giving them the opportunity to catch up a bit.
Henry took the glass and gave it a little raise.
"Cheers," he offered. She slumped into the lawnchair next to him and huffed a contented sigh.
"That was wonderful," she remarked, turning to give him one of her little smiles. He beamed as only she could make him, and took a sip of the amber liquid.
"It was," he agreed, settling back into the chair. "Weird and wonderful."
They settled into a bit of a silence, sharing a glance that turned into a bit of a gaze. She laughed first, which made him laugh, and she sat up and turned towards him.
"Christ, I've missed you," she said. "How have you been? Honestly."
He had talked a little about what he'd been up to at dinner, but kept it vague. Idrani - Thalev - seemed to understand, at least, and hadn't pried. He thought on the question for a moment.
"I've been, uh," he faltered. He wasn't sure he had the words to explain how he felt when he was with Kesh. He didn't know how to express the unfathomable elation of becoming the man he'd always wanted to be, or the satisfaction of finding a true purpose after a decade and a half of misery. He turned to look at her, the mist already gathering.
"Happy," he whispered, settling on simplicity. Sara's face lit up as she grinned, eyes shining in the soft illumination of the back porch. She reached for his hand, squeezing it tightly.
"I knew it," she whispered back. "I fucking knew you could do it."
Henry laughed, finding it a preferable alternative to sobbing once again.
"You did," he agreed, sitting up in the chair and mirroring his sister's posture. "You pushed me-"
"No," she interjected, leaning close. "I know what you're going to say, and it would be a lovely thing to say to me, but you did this. You clawed and scraped to unbury yourself from a mountain of bullshit. I encouraged you, but you did this."
Part of him wanted to object, to counter her assessment, but he didn't. She wouldn't accept it, which was one of the things he loved most about her. She also happened to be right. His opinion of that trait was more mixed.
"Thank you for encouraging me," he said warmly, smiling across at his sister and comrade-in-arms. "Having you in my corner made it so much easier."
"I suppose I can live with that," she joked. She sipped her own drink and shifted into a lounging position, a playful smirk tugging the corner of her mouth. He had an idea what was coming.
"Soooo," she drawled, swirling her glass. "Is she 'the one?'"
He gave a rueful grin before sipping his drink.
"I mean, we could totally get into a long debate about whether 'the one' is an actual thing," he deflected, though it was more about playing the game than indecision on the question.
"Oh? Is she a case study on the matter?" Sara taunted, grinning behind her glass.
"God, she would kick my ass if she was," he sighed, drawing an amused snicker from Sara.
"Well, she's clearly not a fling," she pressed. Henry sighed and sipped, swirling the chilled liquid around his tongue in thought before swallowing.
"We're really straining my vocabulary tonight," he lamented. Sara smirked and watched him expectantly. Henry took a few moments to order his thoughts.
"It's not that she makes me happy," he said carefully, clearly thinking about his phrasing. "It's that I'm happy when I'm with her."
"If that makes sense," he added with a frown. Sara's smile had shifted from playful to warm.
"Perfect sense," she said. "She's not the center of your world, but she makes it brighter."
"Exactly," he agreed, saluting with his glass.
"I word good," Sara joked. Henry snorted.
"I suppose," he offered doubtfully. She flipped him off with a grin. He saluted once more.
"That's a sign of a healthy relationship," she went on. "Yours is a partnership, not symbiosis."
"Something like that," he nodded, finishing off his drink. He planted his elbows on his knees, thinking about Kesh, and about Martin, and about the memorial at the Academy. He thought about what might happen to that partnership when he took the inevitable call to return to service. Would she forgive him? Would he forgive himself?
"What?" asked Sara prompting him from his thoughts. He looked at her and sat up straight before running a hand through his hair.
"SFI's gonna call me, possibly soon, with a job," he explained. Sara's frown was instant, though it didn't seem directed at him.
"That's why you're here," she stated. He could only nod. "And what are you going to say?"
Henry gently punched his fist into his other hand and began to fold them anxiously.
"Thinkin' I might say yes," he sighed.
"Why?"
"Because I-"
He continued to struggle to find the words. This week had been a difficult one. He would have been happy to just have a nice evening with Sara and her family before returning to face the music with Kesh. This was Sara, though. If he could talk to anyone other than Kesh about this, it was her, and she would absolutely force him to.
"I saw the Kyoto memorial at the Academy," he explained. Sara loosed a small sigh before sitting up, though she didn't interject. "Saw all those kids' faces. Though about Nola, and Q'mpok. People are fighting and dying, and I'm basically on vacation-"
"So?" Now she interjected.
"How can I sit back-"
"Because you've given enough," she said, cutting him off. He had to remind himself that she was not, in fact, telepathic. She gave a frustrated huff, though it wasn't at him.
"You've already given so much," she continued. "And you've taken far, far less than you think. I know you feel like not putting yourself back in this mess makes you selfish, but that's bullshit, Henry. It's not fair-"
"How is it not fair?" Now it was his turn to interject. "How is it any less fair than a ship full of kids getting blown up by some gutless pieces of shit in black turtlenecks, who think that being smarmy edgelords somehow means they can do whatever the hell they want?"
"Because you deserve to be happy," she argued. "You deserve to be with Kesh, to keep being the man you want to be. Starfleet has thousands of other people they could use. Hundreds of thouands. Millions. You are not the sole cog that'll be the difference between victory and defeat."
"And if I tell myself that, how am I different from anyone else who'd rather sit back and let others do the fighting for them?" he countered. "If I do that, I'm just-"
"You're just happy," she insisted. "Henry, you've been fighting battles within and without your whole life. You have something in front of you that not many people get. You have the thing that makes the Federation worth fighting for - a happy and fulfilling life with people you love and care about. How does it help us if you give that up? If you throw this away because of a sense of guilt that was forced upon you, how is that anything other than letting Section 31 win?"
That was the knockout blow. Henry's defiance crumbled in the face of one of Sara's blistering truths, and he hung his head and stared at the ground.
He knew what he wanted. He knew what the better choice was. Sara was right - Henry had been thinking of throwing his happiness away because he'd been taught that his happiness meant nothing. And yet, the arc of his adult life had been leading to his life with Kesh. The man he wanted to be wasn't a martyr, but a humanitarian. Not a soldier, but a servant. He wanted to build, not destroy.
Most of all, he just wanted to be happy. So why not be?
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