Post by Nola on Oct 28, 2020 3:28:33 GMT
Recovery, Part Two
Sara spent the rest of the trip back to the Chiron largely in seclusion. She wouldn't deny visits, but the shame was palpable whenever one of her crew were with her. When they arrived at Starbase 310, she'd requested direct transport to quarters aboard their ferry back to Valt, where she spent every moment of that leg of the trip.
Naturally, Henry was with her for most of it, though he gave her space when she needed it. He'd managed to give up on the idea of being her rescuer, and instead simply tried being her brother. He helped her get and consume her meals as she tried to regain her physical strength. He held her when she cried, each hug a little tighter as her shoulders healed up. When she had a small outburst and started throwing things, he didn't try to stop her, and cleaned up after she'd fallen asleep.
Now Valt was hours away. Sara, dressed in most of a Starfleet uniform, stared at the door to her guest quarters as she struggled to gather the courage to step out and be seen. Even after it became clear it wasn't going to happen, she kept standing and staring and screaming internally at herself to just walk through the fuckin' door for fuck's sake, Jesus...
Her feet wouldn't move, and the severity of her damage became clear. The road ahead was dark, and the trees loomed large in the distance.
Still, she tried again once they arrived. She rocked back and forth on her feet as she begged herself to step forward. Why wouldn't she go? Why wouldn't she show her face? It had to happen sooner or later, right? How was she supposed to get back to Thalev and Ula if she didn't take those steps?
Of course, that was the exact problem. The moment she stepped out those doors, the questions would begin. That's what she told herself, anyway. How was she ever going to explain her actions? What could she possibly say that would make one single moment of the last month make sense? 'You see, I'm in love with a Maquis captain, though she doesn't love me back, but I still wanted to go see her because she hit her head in a bad fall, and like she'd already told me she couldn't love me before that, but...'
Sara's hands clenched into fists at her side, a quiet-but-fierce swear spilling from her lips as she turned away from the door. Henry just gave one of his assuring smiles.
"I can't do it," she admitted.
"That's alr-"
"It's not."
"Okay, but it's still a thing, so you're gonna have to accept it."
Sara huffed and shook her head, running a hand through the growing fuzz on top of her head. The Captain of the Chiron paced and glowered as hot, angry tears rimmed her eyes.
"What do you need?" asked Henry. Sara sighed and ceased her pacing, wiping at her eyes as her anger was diffused by the simple question.
"Can you ask them to transport me to my quarters?" she asked, meek in tone. Henry nodded and tapped his combadge, having a brief conversation with the ship's Chief of Operations. Then he tapped it again.
"Henry to Thalev," he called. Sara felt a pit form in her stomach.
"I'm here," answered the Andorian. Sara briefly feared her knees might buckle as she heard his voice.
"We're gonna beam Sara straight to your quarters," explained Henry. "You two ready?"
Sara clenched her eyes and had to put conscious effort into not saying 'no' herself.
"We're ready," replied Thalev. There was a slight tremor in his voice which punched Sara in the gut.
After a few more moments, Sara found herself standing in environs that felt like she'd only ever dreamed them. Before her stood Thalev and Ulani. Her daughter's face lit up despite the tears in her eyes, and Thalev gave her that look that told her he knew exactly what she was feeling.
True to form, Thalev swooped in to catch her as her legs gave out, guiding her gently to the floor as Ulani ran forward and threw her arms around her mother's neck.
"Momma," Ula cried. The words rent all of Sara's scars at once, and all she could muster was an anguished squeal in response as she threw her arms around them both.
Sara spent the rest of the trip back to the Chiron largely in seclusion. She wouldn't deny visits, but the shame was palpable whenever one of her crew were with her. When they arrived at Starbase 310, she'd requested direct transport to quarters aboard their ferry back to Valt, where she spent every moment of that leg of the trip.
Naturally, Henry was with her for most of it, though he gave her space when she needed it. He'd managed to give up on the idea of being her rescuer, and instead simply tried being her brother. He helped her get and consume her meals as she tried to regain her physical strength. He held her when she cried, each hug a little tighter as her shoulders healed up. When she had a small outburst and started throwing things, he didn't try to stop her, and cleaned up after she'd fallen asleep.
Now Valt was hours away. Sara, dressed in most of a Starfleet uniform, stared at the door to her guest quarters as she struggled to gather the courage to step out and be seen. Even after it became clear it wasn't going to happen, she kept standing and staring and screaming internally at herself to just walk through the fuckin' door for fuck's sake, Jesus...
Her feet wouldn't move, and the severity of her damage became clear. The road ahead was dark, and the trees loomed large in the distance.
Still, she tried again once they arrived. She rocked back and forth on her feet as she begged herself to step forward. Why wouldn't she go? Why wouldn't she show her face? It had to happen sooner or later, right? How was she supposed to get back to Thalev and Ula if she didn't take those steps?
Of course, that was the exact problem. The moment she stepped out those doors, the questions would begin. That's what she told herself, anyway. How was she ever going to explain her actions? What could she possibly say that would make one single moment of the last month make sense? 'You see, I'm in love with a Maquis captain, though she doesn't love me back, but I still wanted to go see her because she hit her head in a bad fall, and like she'd already told me she couldn't love me before that, but...'
Sara's hands clenched into fists at her side, a quiet-but-fierce swear spilling from her lips as she turned away from the door. Henry just gave one of his assuring smiles.
"I can't do it," she admitted.
"That's alr-"
"It's not."
"Okay, but it's still a thing, so you're gonna have to accept it."
Sara huffed and shook her head, running a hand through the growing fuzz on top of her head. The Captain of the Chiron paced and glowered as hot, angry tears rimmed her eyes.
"What do you need?" asked Henry. Sara sighed and ceased her pacing, wiping at her eyes as her anger was diffused by the simple question.
"Can you ask them to transport me to my quarters?" she asked, meek in tone. Henry nodded and tapped his combadge, having a brief conversation with the ship's Chief of Operations. Then he tapped it again.
"Henry to Thalev," he called. Sara felt a pit form in her stomach.
"I'm here," answered the Andorian. Sara briefly feared her knees might buckle as she heard his voice.
"We're gonna beam Sara straight to your quarters," explained Henry. "You two ready?"
Sara clenched her eyes and had to put conscious effort into not saying 'no' herself.
"We're ready," replied Thalev. There was a slight tremor in his voice which punched Sara in the gut.
After a few more moments, Sara found herself standing in environs that felt like she'd only ever dreamed them. Before her stood Thalev and Ulani. Her daughter's face lit up despite the tears in her eyes, and Thalev gave her that look that told her he knew exactly what she was feeling.
True to form, Thalev swooped in to catch her as her legs gave out, guiding her gently to the floor as Ulani ran forward and threw her arms around her mother's neck.
"Momma," Ula cried. The words rent all of Sara's scars at once, and all she could muster was an anguished squeal in response as she threw her arms around them both.