Post by spacedaisy on Nov 1, 2018 4:25:54 GMT
Joint log with Dan as Captain Oliver Savage
Stardate 11810.27
Elianna sat uneasily at her station as the preparations were made for the away team to return. She had been trying to keep occupied with small talk, and checking every status she could think of from the sickbay. There weren’t even any files for her to go over at the moment. Curse Emily for being so efficient!
She knew she couldn’t stay on the bridge, it wouldn’t take long for Oliver to figure out something was on her mind. It had become much harder to keep her emotions from him ever since she first shared them. So now she stood, as nonchalantly as she could muster, and headed for the turbolift, maybe she could find something to occupy her thoughts in the sickbay.
Oliver’s brow furrows as the throbbing continues in his head, he looks up watching Elianna heading for the turbolift, and slowly stands himself heading that way as well. “Hold up doctor.” he frowns. “I think I might need something stronger than water for this.” he says coming to a stop at the door with her. “Mind if I join you?”
The door to the lift slid open and Elianna stepped inside, responding with just a nod as she moved so he could join her. “Deck 12,” she said as he joined her. With a sideways glance she commented, “I’m sure a painkiller will take care of it.”
He moved to the side of the lift leaning against it, and waited for the door to close. “Probably,” he studied her for a long moment. “You okay?”
“Yes,” she finally looked at him, “I’m just not ready for Sully to be back on the ship.” It was a half truth at least, or so she told herself as she finished up, “It was nice not having to deal with the hostility for a little while.”
He nodded knowingly, and seemed to consider what she was saying. “Computer Halt the lift.” he nodded again. “It was nice wasn’t it? He certainly is complicating things, and I don’t think it will end anytime soon. But I’m starting to realize that we have to do everything we can to not let it get to us.” he frowned. “I don’t know what else to do other than to not let it get a rise as much as I want to punch him right in the damn throat.” He shook his head. “That just means he’s winning.”
Elianna swallowed hard and gave a meek nod, fighting down what she was really feeling at the moment. “I’m sure you’re right.”
“But?” he asked, an eyebrow arching.
“But nothing,” she shook her head and cast a glance at the floor for a second and then back to him.
Oliver shifted nervously, “You know you can say something even if you think I might not like it.” he continued watching her. “Is there something else on your mind other than Sully?”
Drawing a long breath, she leaned back against the opposite side of the lift and watched him for a moment. “He wants to see you taken out of command, he’s made that clear.” She wasn’t afraid he wouldn’t like what was on her mind, she was afraid she didn’t like what was on her mind. With a shake of her head she ran a hand through her hair in frustration, “He will use our relationship against you when he finds out. He’d do anything to undermine your authority…”
“I can’t deny any of that. You’re absolutely right.” he let out a sigh. “But I don’t know what I can do about it. While he’s way off the mark about a lot of things, he’s not wrong about some. I did kind of put myself in this position by not acting against him and Johnny when all this started. I can’t absolve myself from all of this. I did make mistakes, but just not the ones he’s focused on. As far as our relationship, you’re right he just might us that as fuel for the fire. But we did do the right thing and we came forward with it.”
“Do you think he will care if we came forward with it or not? He’s on a crusade! And do you honestly believe the brass will turn a blind eye if he’s yelling and screaming about it? They sent him all the way out here just to shut him up, don’t you think…” she trailed off and shook her head, once again dropping her eyes to the floor.
“Honestly I don’t know. If you had asked me those questions before we got here, I would have said yes. But now I don’t know. Maybe I’m out of my depth in understanding this administration, but I cannot honestly say.” he frowns. “They might just think he’s a nut job and send him off to a place where he can get the actual help he needs. Or I lose my command. There is a lot of uncertainty in this, but why should I change anything on the whim that he’s hunting for my job. If Starfleet decides to take my job in the end there won't be anything I can do about it.” it was his turn for his eyes to find the floor. “I’m not giving up any of it without a fight.”
“Oliver,” Elianna pushed off the wall and took the couple steps to close the distance, wanting him to look at her, “I can be one of two things, a secret or an impediment to your career. I don’t like either of those options. And the worst part is that it is Sully putting me in this position. He was my friend…,” she took a shaky breath, and then asked, “What am I supposed to do?”
Oliver opened his mouth to respond looking up at her, then stopped unable to respond. He took a moment, and swallowed hard before responding. “I’m sorry I’ve helped put you in this position. I don’t know that I can give you an unbiased response to any of those questions. It’s not fair, because I want to tell you that you matter the world to me. But it does not change how you feel, the position your in.”
“You don’t owe me any apology, we both knew what we were doing. I just don’t know how to do this,” she sighed heavily, “I love you, I couldn’t live with myself if your career ended because of me.”
Oliver’s eyes slowly came up from the floor. “If I lose my career it won’t be your fault. It would be mine, and Sully’s. I understand what you’re saying, and how it might seem like it might. But at the end of the day if Starfleet gives me the heave-ho and dismisses me from service or from my command that rests on me, and Sully alone. To me you're worth it. You are worth fighting for, and my job is too. But where is that going to leave me in several years down the line? How many regrets will I have for going after my career over love? But I don’t want to put that burden on you either.” he let out an exasperated sigh. “This…” he closed his eyes for a moment, trying to maintain his composure. “Damn it..” his hand went to rub away the moisture gathering at the corner of his eye, then the other.
It was overwhelming, all the emotions rushing over her in that stupid little turbolift. Elianna leaned in and wrapped her arms around him, giving him a light kiss on the cheek before saying softly, “We’ll figure it out. We’re in this together.” She leaned back just enough to look into his eyes, “I’m not going anywhere, I’m sorry. It’s just… I didn’t realize…” She shook her head, not exactly sure what she was saying. Then calming her nerves she went on, “We have to tell Sully. If I need to resign my commission, I will. But the longer we wait, the harder it will be to tell him. I don’t want to be a secret.”
He took a breath to steady himself. “That was never the intent. It just kind of.. Happened.”
“I know it was just circumstances, but the longer we keep it a secret the more afraid I am of what the fallout will be.”
“Do you want to tell him together? Or do you want me to do it myself? Maybe we should tell all of the senior staff.”
“We should, but it might be better to tell Sully first privately. I’m sure he will have plenty of snide remarks to make, so let him get them out without an audience. And I think you should tell him. He already feels like we are ganging up on him, might be better done one on one.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. Might go over better that way. I don’t want to distract him from our current mission so when we’re done here and on our way back to the station. I’ll tell him.” there was a hint of relief in his voice.
With a smile, Elanna said, “I must admit, I’m ready to have a normal relationship with you.”
“Would be a nice change. No more hiding out in Turbolifts, strange meetings at all hours of the day.” he gave her a sheepish smile. “Yeah, I think I would like that.”
As if on cue, a concerned voice came over the comm, “Lieutenant Harris to Captain Savage, Sir we see your lift has been stopped for some time, are you experiencing trouble? Should we dispatch an engineer to assist?”
Oliver laughed out loud. “I think we’ve attracted attention.”
Elianna covered her mouth to suppress a giggle and nodded, before stepping back away from him and straightening her uniform. She smiled at him with a sparkle in her eye, still amused at getting called out.
Oliver took a moment to compose himself, then pressed his communicator. “No Lieutenant everything is fine. Carry on, Savage out!” he said then closed the channel and smiled. “Computer, resume!”
Stardate 11810.27
Elianna sat uneasily at her station as the preparations were made for the away team to return. She had been trying to keep occupied with small talk, and checking every status she could think of from the sickbay. There weren’t even any files for her to go over at the moment. Curse Emily for being so efficient!
She knew she couldn’t stay on the bridge, it wouldn’t take long for Oliver to figure out something was on her mind. It had become much harder to keep her emotions from him ever since she first shared them. So now she stood, as nonchalantly as she could muster, and headed for the turbolift, maybe she could find something to occupy her thoughts in the sickbay.
Oliver’s brow furrows as the throbbing continues in his head, he looks up watching Elianna heading for the turbolift, and slowly stands himself heading that way as well. “Hold up doctor.” he frowns. “I think I might need something stronger than water for this.” he says coming to a stop at the door with her. “Mind if I join you?”
The door to the lift slid open and Elianna stepped inside, responding with just a nod as she moved so he could join her. “Deck 12,” she said as he joined her. With a sideways glance she commented, “I’m sure a painkiller will take care of it.”
He moved to the side of the lift leaning against it, and waited for the door to close. “Probably,” he studied her for a long moment. “You okay?”
“Yes,” she finally looked at him, “I’m just not ready for Sully to be back on the ship.” It was a half truth at least, or so she told herself as she finished up, “It was nice not having to deal with the hostility for a little while.”
He nodded knowingly, and seemed to consider what she was saying. “Computer Halt the lift.” he nodded again. “It was nice wasn’t it? He certainly is complicating things, and I don’t think it will end anytime soon. But I’m starting to realize that we have to do everything we can to not let it get to us.” he frowned. “I don’t know what else to do other than to not let it get a rise as much as I want to punch him right in the damn throat.” He shook his head. “That just means he’s winning.”
Elianna swallowed hard and gave a meek nod, fighting down what she was really feeling at the moment. “I’m sure you’re right.”
“But?” he asked, an eyebrow arching.
“But nothing,” she shook her head and cast a glance at the floor for a second and then back to him.
Oliver shifted nervously, “You know you can say something even if you think I might not like it.” he continued watching her. “Is there something else on your mind other than Sully?”
Drawing a long breath, she leaned back against the opposite side of the lift and watched him for a moment. “He wants to see you taken out of command, he’s made that clear.” She wasn’t afraid he wouldn’t like what was on her mind, she was afraid she didn’t like what was on her mind. With a shake of her head she ran a hand through her hair in frustration, “He will use our relationship against you when he finds out. He’d do anything to undermine your authority…”
“I can’t deny any of that. You’re absolutely right.” he let out a sigh. “But I don’t know what I can do about it. While he’s way off the mark about a lot of things, he’s not wrong about some. I did kind of put myself in this position by not acting against him and Johnny when all this started. I can’t absolve myself from all of this. I did make mistakes, but just not the ones he’s focused on. As far as our relationship, you’re right he just might us that as fuel for the fire. But we did do the right thing and we came forward with it.”
“Do you think he will care if we came forward with it or not? He’s on a crusade! And do you honestly believe the brass will turn a blind eye if he’s yelling and screaming about it? They sent him all the way out here just to shut him up, don’t you think…” she trailed off and shook her head, once again dropping her eyes to the floor.
“Honestly I don’t know. If you had asked me those questions before we got here, I would have said yes. But now I don’t know. Maybe I’m out of my depth in understanding this administration, but I cannot honestly say.” he frowns. “They might just think he’s a nut job and send him off to a place where he can get the actual help he needs. Or I lose my command. There is a lot of uncertainty in this, but why should I change anything on the whim that he’s hunting for my job. If Starfleet decides to take my job in the end there won't be anything I can do about it.” it was his turn for his eyes to find the floor. “I’m not giving up any of it without a fight.”
“Oliver,” Elianna pushed off the wall and took the couple steps to close the distance, wanting him to look at her, “I can be one of two things, a secret or an impediment to your career. I don’t like either of those options. And the worst part is that it is Sully putting me in this position. He was my friend…,” she took a shaky breath, and then asked, “What am I supposed to do?”
Oliver opened his mouth to respond looking up at her, then stopped unable to respond. He took a moment, and swallowed hard before responding. “I’m sorry I’ve helped put you in this position. I don’t know that I can give you an unbiased response to any of those questions. It’s not fair, because I want to tell you that you matter the world to me. But it does not change how you feel, the position your in.”
“You don’t owe me any apology, we both knew what we were doing. I just don’t know how to do this,” she sighed heavily, “I love you, I couldn’t live with myself if your career ended because of me.”
Oliver’s eyes slowly came up from the floor. “If I lose my career it won’t be your fault. It would be mine, and Sully’s. I understand what you’re saying, and how it might seem like it might. But at the end of the day if Starfleet gives me the heave-ho and dismisses me from service or from my command that rests on me, and Sully alone. To me you're worth it. You are worth fighting for, and my job is too. But where is that going to leave me in several years down the line? How many regrets will I have for going after my career over love? But I don’t want to put that burden on you either.” he let out an exasperated sigh. “This…” he closed his eyes for a moment, trying to maintain his composure. “Damn it..” his hand went to rub away the moisture gathering at the corner of his eye, then the other.
It was overwhelming, all the emotions rushing over her in that stupid little turbolift. Elianna leaned in and wrapped her arms around him, giving him a light kiss on the cheek before saying softly, “We’ll figure it out. We’re in this together.” She leaned back just enough to look into his eyes, “I’m not going anywhere, I’m sorry. It’s just… I didn’t realize…” She shook her head, not exactly sure what she was saying. Then calming her nerves she went on, “We have to tell Sully. If I need to resign my commission, I will. But the longer we wait, the harder it will be to tell him. I don’t want to be a secret.”
He took a breath to steady himself. “That was never the intent. It just kind of.. Happened.”
“I know it was just circumstances, but the longer we keep it a secret the more afraid I am of what the fallout will be.”
“Do you want to tell him together? Or do you want me to do it myself? Maybe we should tell all of the senior staff.”
“We should, but it might be better to tell Sully first privately. I’m sure he will have plenty of snide remarks to make, so let him get them out without an audience. And I think you should tell him. He already feels like we are ganging up on him, might be better done one on one.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. Might go over better that way. I don’t want to distract him from our current mission so when we’re done here and on our way back to the station. I’ll tell him.” there was a hint of relief in his voice.
With a smile, Elanna said, “I must admit, I’m ready to have a normal relationship with you.”
“Would be a nice change. No more hiding out in Turbolifts, strange meetings at all hours of the day.” he gave her a sheepish smile. “Yeah, I think I would like that.”
As if on cue, a concerned voice came over the comm, “Lieutenant Harris to Captain Savage, Sir we see your lift has been stopped for some time, are you experiencing trouble? Should we dispatch an engineer to assist?”
Oliver laughed out loud. “I think we’ve attracted attention.”
Elianna covered her mouth to suppress a giggle and nodded, before stepping back away from him and straightening her uniform. She smiled at him with a sparkle in her eye, still amused at getting called out.
Oliver took a moment to compose himself, then pressed his communicator. “No Lieutenant everything is fine. Carry on, Savage out!” he said then closed the channel and smiled. “Computer, resume!”